Friday, April 18, 2008

Remembering Nana Jane

This is a picture of my mom holding Sophie right around Soph's one-month birthday. Today it has been one year since my mom passed away. There are so many times that I've wanted to call her this year -- so many things I wanted to tell her. But when I look back at the pictures of Sophie from last year and realize how much she has changed, it honestly feels like Mom has been there and she has seen it all. I don't know how to explain it. Today I listened to a guest speaker talk to my students -- a survivor of Auschwitz -- and she started to talk about losing her mother and I thought, "I can't hear this today. I've got to get out of here." But she said that at the moment they realized their mother was gone, her sister looked at her and said, "The spirit never dies." And I guess I did need to hear that today.

Jordan is bowling with some friends tonight -- my mom LOVED to bowl and even worked at the bowling alley for a while -- I had my own booth in the coffee shop where I often fell asleep staring up at wads of gum and listening to "You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille" on the juke box. I'm not sure if I can heave a bowling ball right now (in fact, they might accuse me of trying to smuggle a bowling ball out in my shirt), but maybe I'll whip up some tuna noodle casserole for lunch tomorrow. And if you're reading this and you're family, or if you knew my mom, I need your help telling all the great stories to Sophie and "the new guy" on the way. ( my mom was afraid of roaming charges, but she just could not stand still when talking on the phone. Or how she ALWAYS bought a coffee cup at a garage sale -- never drank coffee in her life, but didn't want the strangers to think that she didn't like their stuff). That's funny, funny stuff...and the spirit never dies.


Anonymous said...

I feel for you tonight, Stacy. Mom's are important, and I feel blessed to have the relationship that I have with my mom.

I am glad that you can look back and see happiness in your memories of you and your mom.

You are a good mom, and your wee ones will remember crazy things about you. I know mine already have a few stories.

It is odd how God works. How God knows what we need to hear or see or feel and when we are able to handle it all.

You are in my prayers.


Kate said...

I have found myself buying coffee cups at garage sales in Jane's honor. Like your mom, I don't drink coffee, but coffee cups make really cute vases. And like your mom, YOU make the best (or at least funniest) of most every moment. It's quite a gift.