Sunday, October 7, 2007

Guilt By Association



So...Sophie is two. As in terrible, at times. I know, I know...she's "independent" and "learning about boundaries" and "exploring her world." Translation: she's licking paintbrushes and eating play-doh and grabbing the dog's tail and throwing food on the floor.

Last week, she had to go to Time Out at school because she pushed her friend Kendall. (There have been unsubstantiated reports that "Kendall bited me," --no marks teethmarks or teacher's report, but she's sticking to the story-- so it was probably mafia-style retaliation.) I could've told 'em -- Time Out isn't really a punishment or consequence to Sophie. She just marches off to the Time Out spot, sits there quietly without the tears or frustration that might make you think she was sorry for whatever infraction was just committed. When you go to retrieve her after the age-appropriate two minutes and explain why you put her in Time Out and suggest that she say "Sorry, Momma" or "Sorry, Callie," she often responds with "No." (Crossed arms, feet swinging, "I can stay in Time Out all day, lady" look on her face.)

So she got a Time Out in school. And she didn't care. The next day, her teacher tried to re-direct some misbehavior and Sophie said, "No!" and did it again. They tried Time Out a few more times, but when Frank came to pick up Sophie, Miss Heather explained that they would be looking into some new consequences for her since Time Out didn't seem to work.

Huh?!? Like what? Sitting in a corner? Cleaning the erasers? Duct tape? What could this mean?!? My friend Julie told me that the only thing that really worked with her son was taking away his matchbox cars. That very same evening, Sophie did something mean to Callie -- I can't remember what. Dumped out her food bowl or smacked her on the head or something. The point is, Cow was there, too. So Sophie learned a little lesson called Guilt By Association. Sophie may have done the crime, but Cowmoo had to do the time. I scooped him up and told Sophie that Cow wasn't being nice to Callie-dog and put him in the Time Out room but up high where Sophie couldn't reach him. And she broke. There were tears and wailing and flailing and I think she even tried to smuggle in a cake with a file baked into the middle. After one minute of Cow being in Time Out, Sophie was saying she was sorry and giving hugs.

Sigh. Tune in next week to see pictures of me holding Cowmoo over a pot of boiling water.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

All I can say is good luck. I remember one time when Olivia was ever so naughty, and I told if she did it (what ever it was) one more time, that I would take away her new shoes.

She promptly reached down, pulled them off her feet and gave them to me.

Alas, what's a parent to do??

The price of an independent young girl comes early... Well, and later, too.

Hugs,
Diana

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhh. You've discovered the secret of cruel parenting. Take away things that matter to them! It might take a while to figure it out.....but it's a trick that keeps on working. At least it still works with 12 year olds!

M. Wahl said...

I happened across your site because I was tired as hell and ssitting down for a second while gearing up for my second shift (as working mother-housekeeper/mother/spouse) and noticed that on my blog there was a link to other sites noting los super seven as favorite music. consequently i read your descriptions of your two year old's behavior and laughed out loud. it has been many years since i was the mother of a toddler, but your words brought it back in a second. that's good writing. thanks!