Anything For Science

Don't call CPS if you spot me nursing Jameson and drinking a beer at the same time. I've done the research. Correction: I AM the research. Or at least a key player. Anything for science.

Tuesday night, Maggie and I took part in this clinical study for breastfeeding moms. It's for a product called Milkscreen that tests the amount of alcohol present in breastmilk. You hear all kinds of things about what nursing moms should/should not ingest. Should I avoid spicy food? (What about all those kids born in India? Don't their moms eat spicy food?) Onions and garlic? (How will he be protected against vampires?) And Americans are particularly sensitive about alcohol and pregnant/nursing women. When I was pregnant with Sophie and traveling through Europe, waiters handed me glasses of wine that I hadn't even ordered. Never thought twice about it. If I ordered a Diet Coke, though (Coca Lite, por favor), I got all kinds of weird "are you sure you can have caffeine and carcinogenic sweetener?" looks.

About nursing -- I've heard everything from "Don't breastfeed if you wouldn't drive" to "Everything you ingest goes straight into your milk so avoid alcohol altogether." I'm a middle-of-the-road girl on most things, so I've followed the advice of that most famous pediatric guru, Dr. Internet, and I usually limit myself to a glass or two of wine a night -- I drink a glass right after I nurse and hope it's not in my system a couple of hours later when I nurse again.

And that's pretty much what I learned during the clinical study. Here's what happened: we showed up, took a breathalyzer test to prove that we weren't already drunk (those scientists are so smart), then we drank, waited 30 minutes, pumped milk, took another breathalyzer test, used the Milkscreen product to test the alcohol content in the pumped milk, recorded the results, then "rinse and repeat" two more times. After the first drink (a glass of wine), my blood alchol level was at .03 or .04 (can't remember) and my milkscreen was in the safe zone (but just barely). After my second drink (a margarita), I was at .06 and milkscreen moved into the don't-feed-your-baby zone. Maggie had the same drinks that I did, but she was already at .09 -- past the legal limit. Just goes to show that everyone's metabolism is different. After another margarita, I was right at .08 -- could have been arrested if pulled over. Here's the scary part, though -- I didn't really feel impaired at all. Just a slight buzz. Maybe because we were waiting about 30 minutes in between each drink. I waited about 20 more minutes, took another breathalyzer, and was back down to .07 (you had to take an exit breathalyzer to make sure you weren't legally drunk when you left -- but they also gave everyone rides home). So, lesson learned. One drink is fine, but two is pushing it. Waiting at least half an hour can make a big difference. And friends (even the non-nursing ones)...take a cab if you have 3 or more drinks.

The funniest part was watching the other moms around me -- some held their liquor AND an interesting conversation. Others were obviously tipsy after one drink and became the entertainment. I always thought I was a cheap date, but apparently I'm just cheap. They gave us a free handheld breastpump and $100 for participating in the study. But they had me at "free booze."